May 17, 1968

Forty years ago today, the Berrigan Brothers and seven colleagues made a statement about the Viet Nam War. Backed by thousands of Catholics and others who rallied to their call to Stop The War, these dedicated human beings performed an act of conscience. They destroyed Draft Records in Catonsville, Maryland.

I certainly cannot claim to have the dedication that these people had, but in a way, my passion for the Bear Totem runs at least a parallel course. If people in power don't support the traditions of my alma mater and the students simply have not been exposed to what traditions mean, then, I may be a voice in the wilderness, but, at least, I am a voice.

That VOR and TP basically come down shy of really much caring about tradition is probably representative of not only UNC, but Greeley and maybe even Colorado as a whole. This is a harsh judgment and if there are those who may care, even a little bit, then my apologies to you. If you do care, even a little bit, what would it take to awaken those who may be close to you? What would it take for you to speak up and establish little clots of people who, simply by their meeting together, might begin to create that 'heart' of UNC of which I've spoken?

It doesn't matter if it's a ceremony at the big bronze bear to tie ribbons round his snout or create a great big bear hug for a photo opportunity.

Why do I care? As my experiences in Greeley take on some perspective, I honestly don't know. I'm sure that TP and VOR and their kind would be happy if I just shut up. That the administration of UNC remains silent is typical, isn't it?

For what it's worth, I called the CCTHITA and if they have been in touch with anyone at UNC regarding any of this totem business, they didn't say so. Thus, the reports that the Tlingit may have any interest in my artwork seem unlikely.

In the spirit of the Catonsville Nine, I encourage each of you who may have an inkling of spirit for UNC tradition to simply say so. If you don't carry at least a candle, if not a torch, who will?

To Cairn or not to Cairn?

TP, old alum.. I have to hand it to you.. again.. you DO get it and that’s the best. And, that you are now suggesting a handbook like we had in the sixties which would be very simple to reproduce is a huge step towards getting back into our old traditions and, perhaps, creating new ones.

Colorado State College was a small school with its main thrust to turn out teachers. We were not a big institution. Our sports teams were pretty good. We turned out decent teachers. Theatre and music programs were on their way. I attended CSC because it was available and close (I grew up in Greeley) and I was certainly not prepared for the ‘real world.’

We had freshman beanies and the Handbook you recommend was required reading by every freshman. At any time, an upperclassman could stop you and ask you about the history of the college and you were supposed to know. Freshmen knew each other immediately because of the silly beanies and could bond with other new students. The days of having frosh bow down to Totem Teddy were gone, but Hi Bridge, where freshmen were not allowed to sit and mostly jocks would flirt with equally flirty coeds was a great hang out. It was decades past raccoon coats and pork pie hats, but, some of that energy was still in the air as we all prepared for Homecoming. Homecoming was a big deal then with rallies and a huge parade that involved all of Greeley. The town embraced the college and the students were a part of the community. Autumn in Greeley was a time for football and rah rah stuff that may seem passé now. Or, at least that’s what I hear. There’s no parade and the activities on campus are minimal at best.

My artwork is specifically made to be ephemeral and to garner attention for Tradition. I’m flattered that Mr. TP is interested enough to come up with ideas that may promote some semblance of a totem or a bear or something that harkens back to the early roots of our alma mater. It’s great that he has taken time to come up with workable ideas and may even take time to help promote them. A small handbook with all the information, including the UNC Code of Conduct, might be produced or even simply included in the first issue of The Mirror for all students to have, especially Freshmen.

It may be that, as has been said, Dawn Weimer’s big bronze bear might be a new rallying point for the university. For me, though.. because I had a relationship with Totem Teddy from the age of five, that’s the image that is still important to me. That’s why I’ve been passionate about it and why (even though TP isn’t a fan) my temporary installation was important for me to install. I’m genuinely flattered that he took time to figure out where it is.

Can you actually mean that students don’t have time to figure out abstract art???? Is that really the type of university that we want to encourage? A place where only the obvious is acceptable? Do we really want to encourage an institution where paint by numbers learning and multiple choice tests are the norm? What about a way to get students to think outside the box? Is critical thinking a threat? Is going beyond our limits such a challenge that we should simply do things the way they’ve always been done? Playing it safe?

What I love about this medium.. blogs and emails and such.. is that we can communicate in a pretty honest way and maybe even come to some mutual agreements or over come disputes by discussing them openly. If flames appear here, so much the better.. Flaming reveals the deep emotions that some folks have. I publish my name and email address in the hope that if I can be a lightning rod for ideas, I’ll be happy to take the heat.

TP.. I really respect your ideas and the fact that my work doesn’t appeal to you is really wonderful. That you took the time to find it and to make your comments indicates that you are not stuck somewhere and are totally into finding out things for yourself. You are an alum, so, I’d hope that you’d get in touch with President Norton and make your views known. Help write a new handbook? There are copies of the old ones in the UNC archives, I believe. Make new ones..

Finally, I agree that maybe the time has come to let the totem pass away. For what it’s worth, Totem Teddy stood on the UNC campus, probably, longer than it stood in Angoon. That it was a part of my personal history for over sixty years is, well, personal and I get to have that for as long as I live.

We live in a time when most of us are preoccupied with the future, let alone the present. I did a little personal survey when on campus last week and saw that more than half the students I saw were either on cell phones or listening to iPods. When I moved the wooden matrix from the UC through campus, only a handful of kids actually wondered what the heck was going on. I would proselytize the Faith of Totem Teddy to them and most had never heard of the source of the school mascot, The Bear. After while I felt like an evangelical talking about Jesus! Not there’s anything wrong with that!

But, TP.. if you are into helping with a movement to lay a little history on the kids, then, I’m with you and for you. My artwork is not really important.. What’s important is engaging the university in some sense of purpose that includes everyone: students, faculty, staff, alumni and administration. Currently, the feeling on the campus is just sad. I believe that a bit of tradition can rally spirit. And, it’s the Spirit of the Totem that I’ve attempted to retain in the cairn. What, do you think, would it take to get everyone on the same page: dedicated to an institution where Bear Pride and the sort of energy that may buoy everyone into a new space that includes great academics, impressive sports, world class theatre and art and an atmosphere of caring?

It’s that last that most concerns me. If all the university is concerned about is making money, especially the attitude of Mr. DeWitt in Alumni Affairs, dismissing my ideas by ignoring them because he perceives me as a shallow pocket… then, it’ll take a major effort on the parts of people who understand that at the center of any institution, there must reside a ‘heart.’ Without heart, everything grinds to a stop. Finding the heart and keeping it healthy and alive will generate the energy that UNC needs to become a happy place again. And, yes.. it was a happy place when I was there so very long ago.

It takes the dedication of men like TP who are close by and who, at least, care enough to have an opinion. Men like him who may be inspired to gather other friends, students, alumni to his side and then to make small steps toward resuscitating an institution that needs to find a way to grow and be a happier place. Certainly, not Disneyland, but a place where everyone on the campus is involved and may decide to get off the phone or their iPod and participate with other human beings in their own education and a time in life like no other. The college experience.

If my passion for one small segment of a tradition can expand to just a few others, maybe there’s hope.. Otherwise, you have a gigantic ‘institution’ that will survive on practicality and such, but without its heart, will, to me, simply be a zombie cranking out diplomas and less than joyful people to perpetuate their kind.

So.. TP.. are you up for the task? Find a way to reinvigorate your campus? Make a bonfire of my artwork! That’ll show me! Do you really understand what this is all about?

I think you may. And, I hope you’ll do the right thing for alma mater in your own way.

And, for those of you who may lurk here. Go beyond your limits and make a difference. Certainly, the difference I have made is minimal. But, we do what we can, often in the face of resistance. Do what you can and don’t take No for an answer.. Especially, don’t be ignored!

And, in closing, I must note the passing of a hero. Robert Rauschenberg has been my inspiration for many years. He died at the age of 82. This quote from his obituary in the NY Times rings true, perhaps, for what we've been discussing here. He said,

“Anything you do will be an abuse of somebody else’s aesthetics. I think you’re born an artist or not. I couldn’t have learned it. And I hope I never do because knowing more only encourages your limitations.”

Much love… Rest in joy, Mr. R.

ARCHIVES

This is a photo of the book made of the pieces of the Ghost Memory Totem. I presented it to the UNC Archives on May 6, 2008. There are 31 pages. There’s also a copy of the Greeley Tribune from April 30, 2008 with the story of the deconstruction on April 25th.

I’d forgotten about the text that I wrote on the hoop that held the image of the bear. I think that I may have been influenced by James Joyce a little when I wrote it. It’s a little mushy, but came from my heart. It’s sad to see the passing of something that means a lot.

“Ghost Memory Totem standing vigil silent homage to the Bears of long ago long gone away the Bears of time gone by remnant of a time gone by another age long gone away born again in memory a shadow Ghost…”

It was interesting to be so embraced and respected by the folks in the Archives while being ignored by the VP of Alumni Affairs and President Kay Norton. Of course, the Archives are all about the past of the university, which must, by definition, include tradition.

If there are any students still with me here, you may write directly to me at directortv41@yahoo.com to discuss the possibility of finding a space for the ReInCairnation. If enough students are into it, it would be a trip to have you form a bucket brigade line… (as I understand was used to transfer all the books from the Carter Library to the Michener) to move the 462 blocks from its current site to another site. One move would probably put the image upside down in a new cairn, but with a little figuring, it will be easy to reassemble it right side up. This cairn is 66 tiers of seven blocks instead of my first idea of creating it with tiers of five. Of course, with a ladder and more than one person doing the assembly, it can be reassembled to the original height of ten and a half feet. The current cairn is 8’3” high. The image of the bear is more abstract than I’d like.

The blocks were originally moved in bags of seven each. Another way to recreating the cairn would be to invest in inexpensive trash bags to carry the blocks in. I like the image of a line of supportive students formed to transport the blocks to the Bru-Inn / Gunter site. It's hard to be optimistic, but the fun of working together, maybe fraternities and sororities taking charge and putting their pledges to work to include the bear in their own traditions?

much love...

AFTER THOUGHTS

I’m honestly happy that TP did me the honor of pointing out that one man’s art is another man’s trash. I was an advocate of ‘poor art’ in the early pages of this blog and still am. Of course, we live in a time when things are a little upside down. What is strange to me is that my admonition that my ideas for tradition at UNC are not meant to be, of course, a final word, has been ignored. Saying you are going to do something and doing something are two entirely different things.

Of course, TP may be right. What in the world is this one single voice whose only interest right now in UNC is its tradition doing? What gives me the right to do anything? It’s a little like being a citizen, isn’t it? Don’t we, each of us, have the right to speak out and to do things that may draw attention to causes or ideas that we hold dear? I don’t like to think of myself as political.. however, these acts of art are political, aren’t they? That Jerrold DeWitt, who is supposed to be a kindred UNC alum, basically defames me and then dismisses me with no public apology… No response… That’s just bad manners. At least the anonymous Ms/Mr. TP has the nerve to speak what he/she says reflects others. How many, we don’t know. The infamous ‘they’ always agree with us or support our ideas, though we won’t list their names or say exactly how many there are.

One neat thing is that I have a contingency of students and others who sign their names here and support the idea of tradition. Even though a reinCairnation may not be the ultimate answer, it’s SOMETHING and I’m proud to have contributed it. As I’ve said, it may not be my place as a 20th century alumnus to try to influence a 21st century institution. But, as I’ve seen no one else very interested, other than a handful of busy students, it still means something to me…

So.. rather than grouse around about how ‘they’ won’t do anything, I’ve made an effort to fill the space. Maybe to TP and his/her ilk, nothing is better than something? Maybe if I’d not insisted that a replica be installed on the site where the original totem stood, this tradition would have eventually faded into the woodwork; the little plaque that tells the story of Totem Teddy would fade away.

And, that would be fine because, how can you miss what you never knew existed? What is that Joni Mitchell song…? Gosh.. another 20th century artist… “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot… you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone…” but, if you didn’t know paradise, you may be happy with a parking lot. Ask a Tri Sigma, if you can find one.

Granted that Greeley and UNC may be pretty conservative communities. Do we always allow popular opinion rule? Is the minority idea simply extinguished just because the majority has the means to do so?

This brings me to a question that I got an oblique answer to the other day. There used to be a mural / installation which was dedicated to the tradition and the roots of our university on a wall in the upstairs area of the UC. It depicted, along with photos from long ago, of the campus, a coed from probably the 1920s, judging from her attire. She was half way up the totem pole, smiling like anything at the camera. This was a time, almost a hundred years ago, when the possession of Totem Teddy was not a political faux pas. It was just a gift from a generous alum who had an idea. I doubt that he asked about sending it. I imagine that he was a pioneer, this Andrew Thompson, CSNS Class of 1887, who wanted to show gratitude for his education and laid the totem on the college with the best of intentions. So.. the old Bear winds up on campus.. gets stuck up on the Cranford lawn and, Voila!!, a symbol for the college.

What happened to that installation? It was politically incorrect in that it doesn't reflect the current atmosphere of the UNC campus? Antique photos reflected exactly the way the campus was in the teens and twenties. Where are they now? Who is taking care of them? Who was the artist who designed that collage? Will it be seen again? Or will history be revised to reflect a new century, completely obliterating the past?

I’m often asked, as I see a lot of movies, “was that movie any good?” Of course, if I liked it and would see it again, then, ‘good’ might be just the review that I’d give it. I don’t do that any more. If I liked the movie, I say that I’d see it again. If it didn’t do anything for me, then, I say that one viewing was enough. So? Is the $120,000 big bronze Northern Vision ‘good art?’ Who am I do say? Does it represent the Bears I knew? Hardly. But, there was a contingency of folks who said that they’d sponsor that installation, the estimate from one person who does large bronze installations for just the physical location of the bronze was about $150,000.00. This is one of those hear-say deals, if the cost for just the site is available, I’ll see if I can get it. The point is that someone thought that a twelve foot grizzly was a good idea and managed to get permission for that installation because whoever gave the go ahead said that they could. Did UNC pay money to create that plaza? Do they pay the electricity for the lighting? Is there maintenance on the bear and the site that comes out of the plant budget? Is the art any ‘good?’ Does it reflect the spirit of the university today?

Just questions. Like the $250,000 revamping of the Cranford Hall site in 1989/90 that removed a dozen or so live trees, featured major excavation, removed ghost sidewalks, erected a big block wall and sent the dust of the construction over the Centennial Class of 1990, I wonder who okayed that project and who paid for it? Is it good? Does it make a nicer space than the simple lawn with sidewalks leading nowhere did? Where did that construction money come from? Who made that decision?

We really should move beyond the past. I’m hard pressed, obviously, to do that. But, we probably should.

Ideas come and go. Thinkers and Doers come and go. The bottom line for me is that as an artist interested in the Idea over the finished product… and how new ideas may help individuals grow… I’ll always hope that a seed planted in one fertile mind may blossom in time to other ideas that will create a space for growth and more growth. Idealistic. Sure.. but when you are dealing with people whose egos overshadow ideas that, if nothing else, need exploration, then.. don’t we have an obligation to show them up for the people they are and even if they plow us under, the notion that one little idea may land in a rich mind, is worth all the effort. At least to me.

Much love..

AT LAST!

If you check back to "Just the Bones" someone who claims to be a UNC grad and signs him/herself "TP" has made a comment that I hope all will read. This kind of limited thinking is perfect vis a vis my attempts to raise Totem Consciousness on the UNC campus. I wonder what "TP" stands for?


I'm delighted to have your comment. None of the the wooden blocks for the ReINCairnation Project came from Home Depot. In fact none of the supplies for the cairn were purchased. All were donated and/or financed by me. I did bring 46 blocks from California.

I've never intended for my ideas to be permanent and, in fact, they never have been. The idea that you remain anonymous and may never have done a thing to promote tradition at UNC is indicative of a feeling that has been on campus for years. Tradition is really not that big a deal. If grads like you were 1/100th as interested as a few others have been, it might be that tradition would survive on the Greeley campus.

The sad fact is that the college is foundering in a morass of indifference. So even your meager and inaccurate assessment of my art work is ... at least... something.. Now?? why don't YOU actually DO SOMETHING?

Did you ever have a 'fitting' idea for remembering a tradition at our alma mater? A sincere thank you for your comments. All ideas are welcome.

michael sheehan
818 244 9939

Hit and Run

If you go to George Willard’s house, not the west side and pretend to be a great bronze bear, you may see the last of my attempts to revive tradition on the UNC campus. It’s a trip.. for sure. All the way from California to steep myself one last time in my fading past. Why worry about twenty first century traditions when you can’t really get folks excited about the last hundred years?

Art is so subjective. That some parents viewing the Ghost Memory Totem would have balked at it is not surprising. Xenophobia being what it is.

What’s that line from the movie? “I ain’t afraid o’ no ghosts!”

So Greeley, dry and gray; with green budding through in springtime promise, you are my home… but as Thomas Wolfe has said…

My hope for my alma mater is that it may thrive and that the fearless will prevail. The fearless few whom I met may make a difference, but there’s so much other stuff to do.

Back to California.. Not a word from DeWitt. I wonder why the VP of Alumni Affairs can't just own up to what amounts to a dumb mistake and apologize? Or does this mean that as he perceives me as a person who may not contribute money to UNC that being courteous really doesn't matter? An apology, like the one he gave me on the phone, are so simple.. unless, of course, they are sincere.

On an educational note: The $120,000 bronze that sits up by the UC was not paid for by the college, evidently. The artist recoups her investment by selling the smaller versions of the image and enough of them have now been sold to cover the investment. More of them bought by CU folks than folks from UNC.

As Garrison Keillor says: Do good work.

As Joseph Campbell said many times: Follow your bliss.

Much love,
m

Where Did The Springtime Go?

I’d forgotten that in Colorado, you may be lolling in the sun one day and freezing the next. Fortunately, the weather isn’t so bad that my stay has been much compromised.

(Okay.. it's Friday now and the winds are running from 30 to 50 mph, gusting the radio says to EIGHTY, big limbs are down in the streets of Greeley and working outside, as I wanted to do today, became just too much of a challenge.)

I was asked for a word definition the other day from a reader of these musings.

The term, “snardly” comes from an old family term that goes back to the game of Hearts. Of course, we know that the object of the game is to either run the deck and get all the hearts and the queen of spades to win.. or to avoid getting any hearts and never the queen. The family I played Hearts with loved to sit for hours ‘snarding’ each other by passing all the hearts or collecting them and the queen. We changed the name of the game to ‘Snard’ to reflect the person who was the one who ‘snarded’ the other players by laying off all the bad cards on them.

Thus.. a snardly act is the act of doing something not exactly helpful.

It’s a gentle term. There are those in this current course of events who are beyond snardly. You can make up your own four letter term for them. I have.

As an artist it’s interesting to feel the chilly breath of politics. DeWitt’s defaming me because he intuits that I may not give actual cash to UNC still riles me a little. When I spoke with him on the phone, he apologized, as though that would fix the insult. Interestingly, it was almost in the same breath that he started to pitch “Planned Giving” to me! Of course, in fairness, that’s his job. You can’t put conceptual art that garners front page news in the bank. The idea that one imaginative kid who may bring fame to our alma mater (DeWitt says he’s a ’77 grad) because he saw that article may be a long shot, but, all it takes for an institution of so called higher learning to garner some attention is turning out a few successes.

For instance, the College of Theatre Arts, according to Tom McNally, has almost a dozen grads playing on Broadway (that’s in New York City!) The bestowing of Honored Alum on Gregg Germann last year is testimony that some folks wind up in Hollywood. I wonder if DeWitt did a search for me on the IMDB to check my Hollywood credits?

Knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing… what a way to live.

That DeWitt promised to call me back after bailing out on our phone conversation and refusing to respond to my emails shows what respect means to Alumni Affairs these days. I’m truly disappointed that the respect that I was shown over the years has vanished with an arrogant wave. Of course, I still love my alma mater. But, when someone basically says ‘get lost’.. or as he said in his email to all those other folks, that his decision was to say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ to my desire to honor Totem Teddy with a harmless temporary art installation speaks volumes. If his dismissal is the true policy of UNC, then, the students or faculty or others who care about the essence of the institution might consider saying something to President Kay Norton (who remains silent on this issue) or to others who may want to examine the type of people upon whom they bestow the title of Vice President.

I recognize that politics plays a part in almost every thing we do. Playing politics is something that people in suits are good at. Perhaps I should have learned that game, compromised my ethics and maybe garnered some local support. The problem with compromising one's ethics is the personal fall out. Some folks will say or do anything to get their way. Guess I just can't do that.

Are folks in Greeley or at UNC are so provincial that they just can’t get contemporary art? If so, it means, to me, that limited thinking begets limited thinkers, begets a tunnel vision that has no place in a true university.

If students see that some department heads are only in the game for personal aggrandizement and the administration is more interested in the business of education as opposed to education itself, the old aphorism of the tail wagging the dog may need moving in. Perhaps the faculty and students should be the tail doing some wagging?

All I’ve ever wanted to do is keep the memory of the totem alive for the Bears.. especially the Bears who don’t even know where their mascot came from.

Tradition is the seasoning.. maybe the mordant of college life and I truly believe, ought to be kept alive. As I’ve said.. maybe in the 21st Century, it’s ‘just the facts, ma’am’ and then off into the world. Wouldn’t that be sad?…